


Hold On

by MarshmallowMcGonagall



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Department of Mysteries, Grief, M/M, Veil of Death (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-23 23:35:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20897975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarshmallowMcGonagall/pseuds/MarshmallowMcGonagall
Summary: Sirius falls through the Veil.





	Hold On

Harry screamed, and in the Chamber, his voice echoed like some ancient magic awoken by the sacrifice. The Veil fluttered with a terrifying allure. Just to touch, to feel, to check that Sirius wasn’t on the other side. Remus knew he didn’t need to. Azkaban, the Forbidden Forest, caves. Sirius had done it all for Harry, and always come back. Remus held onto Harry. His hold all that was stopping the frantic teenager from following his godfather through the Veil.

Remus had thought Sirius was dead once before. It couldn’t be true but the proof was in James and Lily’s deaths. Harry orphaned. Harry kept yelling Sirius’s name while chaos reigned around the Chamber. He had to have been killed. Sirius wouldn’t betray his friends. Remus had said it couldn’t be true. But those fractures between them in the last few days had been enough. There was doubt no stronger than a candle flame, yet it persisted and burned and consumed until everything was alight. Then Sirius turned up in the Daily Prophet. He was in Azkaban. Except - except as soon as Sirius grabbed him in the Shrieking Shack - Remus believed him. Every word. Every movement of his lips a truth he drank in. Sirius had forgiven him his doubt before Remus could comprehend the whole truth.

Their first moment alone, the years fell away for a few hours while they learned each other again. The desperate grasps and screams during sleep, waking with panic curled in his chest that this was all a nightmare, a tantalising dream to torture him. To have Sirius pull him back into his embrace. Sirius wasn’t in Azkaban. He was here, here, here. Sirius the one to reassure. For him there was no mistaking where he was. Their scarred bodies were foreign battlefields that they mapped over long nights.

The battle raged on around Remus and Harry. The Veil moving as if from a soft summer breeze. Harry thrashing as if Death was trying to take him. There was a robbed lifetime of strength in Harry's struggle and still Remus kept his hold. What ostracized him was the very thing giving him the strength to stop Harry barreling through the Veil after Sirius. Harry began to sag in his arms. The screams had torn him apart, his voice was ragged, and wracking sobs cut through the boy’s body as he was transformed again by grief.

Remus said words to Harry that he knew neither would remember. He wanted to scream that he knew this was awful. And there was no body. No proof. When Sirius was in Azkaban, Remus had hoped in the darkest moments that Sirius might be spared suffering. He spent months drinking himself into a different oblivion. An oblivion where Sirius didn’t exist. And now he was gone. He might not have existed. Remus's wish had been granted. There wasn't a body. There was nothing left. He should have recanted.

Then Harry broke free. His anger a fierce magic Remus was too brittle to fight against any longer. Remus sunk to his knees in front of the Veil. His hands spread against the cold stone floor. He pushed against the stone and stood up.

Sirius had squeezed his hand. Panic over Harry coursing through him. Sirius asked Remus to take him by Side-Along Apparition to the Ministry. The briefest kiss of thanks before Remus Apparated them there. Their bed abandoned in terror at the news of Harry in danger. Once already Remus had realised he couldn’t remember Sirius’s smell. He would have to go through it again. And Sirius’s voice. Oh Merlin. Twice. How long would it take this time? Please. Longer than months. Longer than before. Let him capture it somehow.

Remus ran, taking the steps two at a time. He yelled Harry’s name but Harry was too consumed by his desperation to avenge Sirius to hear anything. Harry ran through the door at the top of the stairs and the door slammed in Remus’s face. The quick slam of the wood pierced through the other screams and shouts in spite of its quietness.

"Padfoot," said Remus, as if in anguished prayer. He smacked his hand on the door. Harry was still alive. Harry, Harry, Harry. Remus ripped the door open. 

“Hold on,” Remus said, on the steps of Grimmauld Place. Sirius took his hand, intertwined his fingers with Remus’s, and rested his forehead against Remus’s. “Hold on.”


End file.
